Michael Jordan Says He’d Like to “Slap Some Sense” Into Colin Kaepernick

Basketball superstar Michael Jordan, who has grown tired of the antics of leftists, says he’d love to “slap some sense” into former quarterback Colin Kaepernick.

“He’s got such potential,” Jordan said during a very emotional phone call with ALLOD’ Tara Newhole, “I used to really look up to him.

Jordan cried a little as he continued, conjuring memories of watching great black players like Kaepernick holding their hands over their hearts, grateful for the country that’s given them the opportunity to be famous for playing a game.

“Kaep should just bite the bullet and give in,” he continued, “it makes me sad that he sucks now. Those lost years aren’t gonna rematerialize. All because he wouldn’t stand up for the song. The song that is the very reason he’s free.” When asked why he thinks Kaepernick does it, the former Bulls great said, “there’s simply no way to know. He says it’s a protest or something, but for what? Someone said it was about black guys getting shot, and I can’t help but think…shouldn’t he be black if he’s gonna toss his career out over it?

After explaining Kaepernick’s backstory, Jordan apologized and offered a fist in the air in solidarity, but still couldn’t get past the kneeling.

“He must hate the troops. There’s literally no other explanation for it.” Sadly, Mr. Jordan is probably right.

Kaepernick probably would have done well to ask a veteran about his protest before he went and offended everyone by sitting instead of kneeling. God bless America.