Reeves Rejects Marvel: ‘Woke Mind Virus’ Too Much to Swallow

In a twist worthy of a blockbuster plot, Keanu Reeves has turned down a lucrative offer from Marvel, citing his aversion to what he calls the ‘woke mind virus.’

Reeves, known for his stoic demeanor on and off screen, declared, “I’d rather dodge bullets in The Matrix than succumb to woke propaganda.”

Marvel Studios, typically accustomed to snagging A-list talent, was left scratching their heads as Reeves rode off into the sunset on his metaphorical motorcycle. As fans speculate on Reeves’ next move, one thing’s for sure: Hollywood’s woke warriors may need to find a new hero to champion their cause.