Whoopi Goldberg Crowned Hollywood’s ‘Most Toxic Loser’ in Unprecedented Upset

In a shocking turn of events, Hollywood has crowned Whoopi Goldberg with a title she never auditioned for: “The Most Toxic Loser.”

Sources reveal that Goldberg’s remarkable achievement stems from her unparalleled ability to ruin everything she touches, from award shows to political debates.

“It’s like she’s got a Midas touch, but instead of gold, it’s pure chaos,” remarked one anonymous industry insider. Goldberg, known for her outspoken opinions and candid demeanor, has yet to comment on her newfound title.

However, rumors swirl that she’s already planning her acceptance speech for the prestigious “Worst of the Worst” awards. Truly a shining example of how to turn lemons into a lemon-scented dumpster fire.